2017 is a big year for former rivals Mario and Sonic, as Mario recently saw the release of Mario Odyssey and Sonic has Sonic Forces releasing today. While reviews for Sonic Forces are still in-progress, it is looking like while Mario is seeing a strong consensus that his game is great, Sonic is looking at a very mediocre reception. Why is this and how can Sonic learn from Mario? Let’s find out!
It’s no secret that Mario has had far more experience than Sonic, with Mario debuting a full ten years before Sonic. In that time, Mario has taken the appropriate two to three years of apprenticeship as a plumber, plus another year or two of plumbing experience. From there, Mario became a journeyman plumber, amassing a full five years of plumbing experience making him eligible to sit for the master plumber exam. Sonic, by comparison, debuted in 1991 and right out of the gate just kept running, jumping and taking down Eggman’s robots. Should he encounter any clogged drains, Sonic would be in big trouble. This is where Mario comes in.
While I am not suggesting Sonic become a plumber, I think there are some very important lessons he can learn from his former rival. For starters, should Sonic ever encounter a clogged drain he should ignore his “gotta go fast” motto, which would be reaching from a bottle of drain cleaner, and call on a professional. While bottled drain cleaning products can be helpful, they can also make problems worse with multiple uses, creating the possibility of a pipe being eaten away. A plumber would use a drain snake, which would clear the problem up and keep the pipes from eroding. It should be noted, however, that Sonic’s reluctance to use a drain snake is understandable as his nemesis Doctor Eggman has used drain snake badniks in the past.
Another important lesson Sonic can learn from Mario is that after eating a plate of eleven chili dogs, plates should be cleaned properly. Sonic, of course, would have no time for this and would instead dump the remaining bits of meat and onion into the drain, using his gloved fingers to press the pieces through the drain holes, turning on the tap briefly to let the chili dog remnants wash down the pipes. This is something Mario would not do, and something he would advise Sonic against as this can lead to a clogged drain. Sonic should instead clear his plate into the trash, and any pieces of chili dog should be trapped by a drain strainer and the strainer properly emptied into a trash. If your sink does not have a garbage disposal, do not treat it as though it has one.
There are more lessons Sonic can learn, however I do not think Sonic needs to tie a woman’s stocking to his washing machine’s drain pipe, so as to trap hairs and clothing fibers which can clog a washing basin. Sonic does not wear clothing, and sneakers should not be washed in a washing machine. Still, as evidenced Sonic has a lot to learn from Mario, but in the end I think Sonic will flourish if he remembers these helpful habits of Nintendo’s star plumber.